I especially like the beginning, when you describe everything he carries in his pockets, but mostly because it reminds me of the man in the castle the K. Dick. But well written (I don't like Dick hahaha) however your prose is brilliant and speeds up the reading. It pushes you to read one sentence after another, in that sense although less poetic it resembles Bradbury's. That would be my deeper opinion of your work. I hope you find my humble opinion useful.